Welcome to the Writer’s Block. Okay okay, so I’m bad with titles, I admit that. It seemed clever at the time, as I created this blog to write about the horrific writer’s block I’ve been suffering lately.
So, quickly moving on, I created this blog to write about my horrific writer’s block. And so I shall.
I have writer’s block.
Okay okay, so I should probably elaborate.
Words and I have always been the best of friends, not the spoken word, god no. When speaking I turn into bizarre cross between Dan Quayle, hilariously misspeaking words and phrases, and a man whose had his jaw wired shut, unable to enunciate or even string a couple words together. But writing? That’s always been as easy as breathing for me, I’ve been writing stories since I was young. Teachers used to give out vocabulary lists as assignments and you could either write the meaning of the word or turn the list into a story. I used to force my poor Elementary school teacher’s to read six, seven or even eight page stories of terrible fiction. Once my 4th grade class was given a rabbit shaped piece of paper with only five lines on it and told to tell a story about why we had to replace the Easter Bunny. Most kids wrote “I replaced the Easter Bunny cause he was sick at home” with various misspellings and grammar errors. I used the paper Rabbit’s ears, head, the 5 lines provided, the back of the paper and stapled an extra piece of paper on to tell a grand saga of my heroic journey to save the Easter Bunny from the clutches of evil. It was filled with ten times the mistakes of my peers, and the story was barely coherent and I couldn’t actually read the ending (my handwriting was so horrible that even I couldn’t read it, and my sieve like memory had lost the ending to inequity.) But Damn it all, I had actually out done my peers, and let me tell you that was a rare occurrence! Take that, Zach, my fourth grade bully! (Yeah, I’m totally not bitter.)
Anyway, to drag this back on point, I’m a writer. By choice and by birth. I was born to write. Whether or not anyone out there is born to read what I write is irrelevant, I’ll continue to write until the day I die (or I’m finally locked away in a padded cell). So for me it’s incredibly frustrating to be stuck staring at a blank screen or a clean sheet of paper without a word on it.
You ever seen one of those zombie movies? Well, if you have, you know how it goes. You know at the end of the movie when the last remaining humans manage to heroically escape the horde of lumbering, yet seemingly desperate zombies? Yeah, I’m one of the zombies. I’m shambling along desperately after a paragraph, a sentence, a solitary letter to sink my teeth into. Only to watch with profound sadness as they sail into the sunset, taking my Pulitzer prize and all my New York Best Sellers with them, presumably to be eaten by other zombies after the credits roll.
Yes, I know well the plight of those poor zombies. Me and every other writer out there who has ever suffered writer’s block knows that feeling.
So I decided to write this blog. Hoping that maybe just writing about my frustrations about writing would get me writing again. There’s a paradox in that statement somewhere but I don’t care, I want to write.
So for those of you following me, be aware. If I don’t break this writer’s block this blog may eventually turn into the ramblings of a mad man. Much like Jack Torrence (From 1980’s The Shining) my final words might read “All work and no play makes jack a dull boy” and then the murders will start!
But rest, before my inevitable insanity hits, my blog will contain more than just my writer’s block and weakening grip on reality. I’m a bit of a renaissance writer, I dabble in a bit of everything at the moment. From Movie and Video Game reviews, to the difficulties of writing fantasy stories, and even half-baked short stories about pyromaniacs, you’ll be able to find them all here.